I Am Still in the Spiral (PART FOUR)

A field note from the edge of becoming
By Trista Galvin

The Story

When I am standing at the edge of something meaningful,
I can taste fear in my mouth.
I can feel the terror in my body.
The what-ifs start taking over.

That’s my brain, struggling to keep me safe.
It wants predictability, certainty, a straight line.

But my soul?
My soul knows exactly what to do with all of this,
if I don’t let the survival instinct take control.

The imperfection of this process this way, this spiral, is not a flaw.
It’s the reason it works.

Because I’m not walking into this as someone with all the answers.
I’m walking into it as someone still in it.

And maybe that’s why I can do this work at all.
Because I’m not reaching down from a pedestal; I’m reaching across.
Taking the hands of other spiral-walkers,
helping them steady when the fear rises.

I’ve felt the part that says, “this is not safe… don’t do it.”
I’ve also heard the deeper part whisper, “do it anyway.”

This is not a tidy process.
It’s not always empowering.
It’s often terrifying.

But this is the way of the Reclaimer.

We don’t walk this path because it’s easy.
We walk it because we’re not willing to stay asleep.

We walk it because someone has to go first.
And maybe—that someone is you.

🔥 You are not the break in the line.
You are the bloom.

SGW Reflection Frame

The Growth Point
Being “in the spiral” doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re alive in the process. The spiral is where the courage work happens. You don’t need to have already arrived to be of value; you can lead from the middle.

Why This Matters in SGW Terms
In Second Generation Work, we reject the myth that authority comes only from distance or detachment.

• Leading while in-process is still leading.

• Fear doesn’t disqualify you. Rather, it’s proof you’re expanding.

• The spiral is a legitimate, necessary stage of growth.

The Takeaway for Your Leadership & Life
When you feel the fear rising, pause and ask: Am I in the spiral because I’m lost or because I’m transforming?
Stay connected to others who are also walking their spirals.
Remember: The work isn’t to flatten the spiral into a straight line. The work is to keep walking it, with your eyes and heart open.